Ricky:
Would love to catch you walking down my street scum!
Me:
Would love to catch you high on crystal meth in a crappy motel with a male prostitute like your fellow God-fearing Christian pastor Ted Haggard.
Ricky:
Fuck you cunt, I would love to kick you to fuck!
Me:
Kick me to Fuck?... How old are you kid? Like 15?... You do know your Jesus powers don't mean shit in the real world, right? Your faith doesn't give you special powers... And it obviously doesn't make you smarter, because you can neither make a good rebuttal against my argument, or even properly understand it... But sending messages with toothless threats, you can do that, can't you... that's all your Jesus is for, allowing you to be quick to anger.
Ricky:
Ay cunt I live in Chicago too ya dumb cunt, I'll find ya, I am 15 so what?
Don't mean shit, if I catch ya, I'm gonna batter you to fuck punk.
Me:
Chicago? Really? Cool... Also, I was guessing you were 15. Good guess, huh!... Well maybe you didn't notice my picture. It's not really bright to try to pick a fight with a man who kills people for a living. Two reasons... I'm obviously much more likely to win, and I'm willing to take it to a limit you're not. It would be like trying to play touch football against an actual NFL linebacker who's allowed to tackle you... You'll lose, badly.
I recommend you take a minute to stop being angry and start fucking thinking. There are a thousand different reasons to believe in God, but none of them are any good. They're all horrible reasons. And even if you don't care how incredibly horrible the reasons are, the reasons aren't even synonymous with your religion. They're horrible reasons synonymous with all religion! So your religion is not only stupid, it's not even specially stupid! It's not even uniquely stupid! It's just regular stupid... Learn a bit about logic, debate and reason. Then maybe you'll be more likely to think before deciding to send messages to complete strangers so you can act like a big tough eagle scout.
Ricky:
Cunt you wouldn't last 5 minutes in the ring with me, I've been boxing since I was 14, I'd whipe the floor with you eyes shut.
I did see your picture, that's why I messaged you, murdering scum!
Seriously, tell us where ya live so I can come round and kick you about, there is a good reason to beileve in God.
Me:
Boxing for one year? Wow, you're practically next in line for a shot at the title!... Seriously kid, I try not to make a point of kicking the ass of little boys who can't even legally vote. The only advantage you have is that the cops couldn't try you as an adult.
Your God is probably the biggest piece of shit lie I've ever heard in my entire life. I should know, I used to believe it myself. You're 15, you're a kid! You've got your whole life ahead of you!... There's no need to end it early by testing me. In fact, if you think there is a good reason to believe in your God, then research it. Figure out an argument and get back to me. I can either kick your ass physically or intellectually. It doesn't matter to me.
Ricky:
You couldn't kick my ass physically at all, I'm 5 ft 7 and a boxer, I'd ruin you!
You can't beat me at the Bible, the Bible is the truth, there is nothing that can disprove the Bible, because it's the word of God!
Me:
5'7"... Really? Wow, so by the time your puberty ends you should be almost 6 feet tall?... Congrats, but I'll still be looking down on you. Both intellectually and literally.
Your Bible is way too convoluted to be the word of any God who is not drunk, retarded or stricken with extreme alzheimers. It's probably the most ridiculous book I've ever read. And I've read it 3 times in 2 different languages in 3 different denominational versions!
Ricky:
Lies!! Seriously, tell me where you're at, I would love to meet you and watch you run!
Me:
The Bible is nowhere near perfect! Even if it didn't contradict itself, it still doesn't have any cup holders! Why doesn't it recline? Can it do my taxes? Does it cook a pork roast in 30 minutes? Nope, it can't do any of that. Apparently, at your house, the only thing the Bible is good for is filling a spot on your book shelf that would otherwise remain empty. It's obvious you've never actually read the Bible from front to back. Otherwise, you'd be an atheist too.
Ricky:
Lies!! There are NO contradictions in the Bible.
Seriously, where you at punk?
Me:
No contradictions?... They have three different versions of the resurrection story, and none of them can come to agreement on how Jesus rose from the dead, when he rose from the dead, who was there to see it, where he went afterwards, or if it even happened at all... That's what we call a "contradiction" in my line of work... well, not just my line of work, ANY LINE OF WORK!!!
Ricky:
No contradictions, just misunderstandings.
Me:
If there are misunderstandings, then it's not perfect. How does God misunderstand the story of his own son, who is also him? You just contradicted yourself.
Ricky:
No, you misunderstood me. There are no contradictions in the Bible, just people with misunderstandings.
Me:
Then the Bible still isn't perfect because there are contradictions in the Bible caused by people's misunderstandings.
Ricky:
The Bible is perfect people aren't. There are NO contradictions, only people misunderstanding it.
Me:
No, that's people misunderstanding the story and writing it into the Bible wrong. That means the people who wrote the Bible were the ones who misunderstood, which is suspicious since God was supposed to be the one guiding them. So that all adds up to contradictions in the Bible.
Do you even know what a contradiction is? Because what you've basically been saying for the past 3 messages is "There are no contradictions in the Bible, just people writing contradictions into the Bible!"
Ricky:
No, you're misunderstanding me.
What I'm saying, is there are NO contradictions in the Bible, the only "contradictions" in there, are those made up by people who read it and misunderstand it.
Me:
You just said there are no contradictions in the Bible, but there are contradictions in the Bible and they're caused by people... That in itself is a contradiction... Do you know what a contradiction is? I don't think you do.
When the Bible says in one book "Jesus rose physically on the third day" and then in the next book it says "Jesus' spirit rose on the second day and his body stayed behind" and then says in the third book that "Jesus never rose from the dead" that's not a misunderstanding. I didn't read it wrong. I read the book as it was written, but it told me 3 different things. They can't all be true, and there's no way to make them all true in their own special way. So the only conclusion is that they're most likely all wrong.
Ricky:
No, I said "contradictions", you see the marks I put in? Meaning they're not real contradictions, they're just what people think are contradictions because they are reading wrong.
Me:
I just explained why it's impossible to read that part wrong. It's just not possible! There are most certainly contradictions in your Bible. Some of them might be issues with the writing being cryptic, some of it might be the reading. But there is vast majority of the contradictions that are simply contradictions.
Ricky:
Lies!! There are many mistranslations! You're blind! I will find you.
Me:
There aren't mistranslations of the Bible... there are just a thousand different translations. Did you know that? Your Bible has been edited, rewritten and translated over 1,000 times since it's origin.
Ricky:
There are mistranslations. The original had been translated incorrectly, as we see in Isaiah.
Me:
If you believe it's been translated incorrectly, then it's not perfect. Stop contradicting yourself.
Ricky:
I'm not, I havn't contradicted myself, you've misunderstood me, I proved that.
The Bible, is perfect, the new editions of the Bible are not.
Me:
The new editions are all we have. So you assume the original Bible was perfect? But you don't know, do you. You just think it was. For all you know it could have been almost just as fucked up as the modern versions. You're making claims you can't prove and you keep contradicting yourself. You don't know how to argue! You haven't got even a basic understanding of logic! How does it feel to be completely fucking retarded?
I'm going to give you the link to my blog so you can read up a bit and do some fucking research for once. There's an email address on the top of the page, so feel free to send me an email if you want to continue your futile attack... www.foxholeatheistblog.blogspot.com
Ricky:
Ay I'm 15, don't call me retarded.
Me:
Whatever Retard.
Ricky:
Ay why you gotta pick on me? I'm a kid, stop being so mean, unless you really wanna get battered?
Me:
Stop being such a complete and utter pussy unless you want to get called a retard, okay retard.
Ricky:
Ay stop being a cunt. You're lucky I don't know where you are.
Me:
You're lucky you don't know where I am, otherwise I could call you a pussy for never showing up.
Ricky:
Ay tell me and I'll prove you wrong, but you won't cause you're scared of getting your ass handed to you.
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3 comments:
This had me laughing so hard the tears were squeezing out of my eyes. Good stuff man.
Some of the 15 year olds who argued with me 30 years ago are now quite civilized adults. I admit to using a more gentle approach and repeated conversations. My favorite, though, was my mother-in-law. In response to her comment that something was forbidden in the bible, I replied that I only discussed bible with people who had read it - ALL. She began at the beginning and part way through Genesis she quit, saying "I'm not reading that - it is full of sex and violence."
I do trust all the ideas you've introduced to your post. They are very convincing and will certainly work. Still, the posts are very brief for starters. Could you please extend them a little from subsequent time? Thanks for the post.
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